050- Bernie

Bernard Caraway Lewis would be 12 years old today. That seems so hard to believe. How could that many years have gone by?

My first interaction with Bernie was sometime in the early 1990s. I dreamed that we were at an airport with a beautiful outdoor concourse complete with fountains and gardens. Gordon had gone on ahead and the kids and I were catching up. I walked down some stairs and could see Gordon talking to this stranger, a young man- missionary age. I walked up behind them, and being considerably shorter than both of them, I looked between their arms. This young man was showing Gordon a piece of paper; I looked and could see that it wasn’t an airline ticket as I had expected but a birth certificate. The young man pointed to a line and said, “I am supposed to be your son, you need to let me come!”



I am a firm believer in dreams. I know that the Lord uses them to allow us to communicate with our loved ones on the other side of the veil. I’ve been visited by Mom, Daddy, Tony and Amanda on different occasions and for different purposes. So to have this information come to me in a dream wasn’t unusual.

Even though I was “older” we knew we needed to “let Bernie come” and waited for him to do so. We waited for what seemed like a long time, during which I periodically felt his presence reassuring me that he hadn’t forgotten.

Finally I got pregnant in the late spring of 1996. Pregnancy is ALWAYS hard on me and at almost 44 this one was even harder. But I was elated nonetheless that this little boy that we’d waited for was finally going to come!

My pregnancy progressed normally. When we went in for a doctor’s appointment at about 9 weeks we could see and hear his little heart beating. Not too long after that I felt him moving (I always felt life early, usually 10-13 weeks and with Amanda you could see my belly move at 16 weeks). I knew that our little man was on his way. But then at 13 weeks I started to feel better, and that was not normal for me. I am always sick for the full 9 months. We went in for another doctor’s appointment on August 13, 1996 and there was no heartbeat. Bernie was gone. That was all the time he needed here.

In the next few years Bernie continued to visit me. But now it was always in Mom’s little house in Greenville. In the dreams I’d gone to visit and there was Bernie; plump, blonde and healthy. My first thought was always, “I forgot about my baby!” But then the Spirit reassured me that he was being well taken care of and waiting for me.

Through other events I was led to know that his birthday would have been February 19, 1997. Each year I think about him as his birthday time draws near, but this year is particularly tender because he would be turning twelve (like his nephew Tadhg) and receiving the Aaronic Priesthood.

Once again I am called upon to bear strong testimony that I know that the Lord has given us a wonderful plan of happiness. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth with all of it rights, keys and powers. I know that my family is eternally linked together and this separation is just a short one. Soon we will all be together again. What a glorious plan!

Happy Birthday, Bernie. I love you- Mamma