Happiness is- Tony

Happy Birthday to my wonderful Tony! He would be 45 today. This is the wonderful person who made me a mother.

(I went looking for a photo of me at 45 and I could only find two, neither one blog worthy. Moms don't end up with many photos of themselves, do they?)

In the 1960s there was a cartoon panel titled Happiness Is... My Gramma used to cut out the ones she thought were pertinent to me and send them to me!

So a few years later when my Mom and I saw this little outfit that said *Happiness Is* we had to get it for Tony's blessing outfit. My Mama, the best handiwork woman I know, added *TONY*!

Happiness truly is Tony! He was born, after a 26 hour labor, with a congenital defect, gastroschisis. In 1972 the prognosis was bleak. We were told he would not live beyond 24 hours, but, if, by some miracle he did, his abdomen would look like a road map from all of the surgeries.

Long story short (that's about all I'm up for this day) through faith, prayer and the tender mercies of the Lord, Jesus Christ, Tony only had 2 surgeries, one to contain the intestines and one to close his abdomen! He was the Miracle Baby of Ped 3B.

I am so blessed that I got to keep Tony here for 9 years 3 months 13 days. I feel that Tony wasn't meant for this world, but the Lord granted me more time before taking him back home.  I am so very grateful that this wonderful man is a very real part of my family. I, and his siblings, frequently feel him close, watching over us and cheering us on.

I am so blessed!

The Blessing of the Temple

Today was my turn for sharing time. Usually I get started on it several days early but it totally slipped my mind until I was headed home last night at 10:30 after babysitting my littles. PANIC!! I knew this month's theme was the Temple and was so blessed and relieved when my topic was-

"Families are blessed through

sacred temple ordinances."

As I read through the sparse outline into my mind came exactly what I needed to share. My life would be so sad... so bereft of hope without the saving atonement of our Saviour, Jesus Christ and that through Him I have been sealed eternally to my wonderful celestial children! How could I possible go on without the hope of a glorious Resurrection? And an eternal association with my loved ones?

So I stayed up late and got up early so I could take my family with me to sharing time today. I found this wonderful snapshot was just perfect for showing my beautiful children at a very happy time. Christmas 1980 (7 months before Tony and Amanda died).

I also took along this photo that I put together back in December 2008. My Mama and Daddy... who love me and assist me from the other side of the veil!

When I talk of those wonderful temple blessings how could I not share their likeness?

Of course I get emotional when I share my deep faith and love for my family and the comfort I receive through the Holy Ghost. The spirit was so strong bearing testimony of the truths I was sharing...

Families Can Be Together Forever!

I made sure to identify to the children that what they were feeling was the Holy Ghost bearing witness to them than the things I was sharing are true!

After the closing song (Gethsemane led by several of my wonderful primary children... I was a mess) and closing prayer by Elder Oaks great-grandson, one very perceptive, precious girl (Zoie Smith) came and gave me the biggest, longest hug and thanked me for my lesson and testimony! What a sweetheart! She knew I needed that hug!

I am so blessed to be able to work with these wonderful children.

Robust Mortal Experience

Last September we had a Regional Conference Broadcast to 139 Stakes in Utah County and parts of Wasatch County plus 17 BYU Stakes; a possible audience half a million members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One of the speakers was Julie B Beck, General Relief Society President. She said something that resonated with me. I wrote it down and have applied its words many times in the last year. She said that we are "having a Robust Mortal Experience!" I love that! It acknowledges that life is not easy nor was it meant to be. BUT when we have faith in Jesus Christ we are able to meet those robust experiences with courage, faith and a knowledge that the Lord will not leave us alone in our struggles.

This truth is also testified to by Helaman speaking to his sons; Nephi and Lehi.

And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall. Helaman 5:12

These last two weeks have been a Robust Mortal Experience for our family! It was two weeks ago this morning that our little Chloe was born 4 weeks early and within 90 minutes we found out that our little Dylan's heartbeat had stopped in utero; he was delivered, stillborn, 36 hours later. We made a fast trip to the AV for Dylan's graveside service on August 4th- the 30th anniversary of Amanda's death. Then this last Sunday Camille had a miscarriage.

Why do I share these happenings that many people would refer to as tragedies? Because I am here as a witness that the Lord will hold us firmly in His loving arms, rooted on His sure Foundation; "a foundation whereon if [we] build [we] cannot fall!"

Have we been sad? Yes, of course. Have we cried for our losses and rejoiced in the triumph of little Chloe? Yes.

But in spite of, or perhaps, because of, our Robust Mortal Experience we know of the Lord's love and caring for us and we know that He will never leave us alone in the storm.

Dylan Ross Lewis

Thursday, August 4, 2011, we laid little Dylan to rest at Desert Lawn Cemetery. He is under a wonderful, shady fruitless mulberry tree in the Innocence Garden, or as I prefer to call it the Baby Lawn. It is a beautiful little corner in the otherwise dry and barren Mojave Desert.



Spencer and Deborah only wanted family to come to the graveside service. It couldn’t have been a better morning. There was a lovely cool desert breeze that tinkled a sweet little wind chime hung in the tree. We shared our faith in eternal families, hope in a glorious resurrection and gratitude for the Atonement made by our loving older brother, Jesus Christ. Again, what would we do without this hope?

We Heart Tiny Baby Dylan

I love this photo taken of Spencer and Deborah holding tiny Dylan's feet. Their hands suggest a heart centered around their sweet little stillborn son.



I am so grateful for the knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the hope of a glorious resurrection. I'm grateful for eternal families. How could a parent go on without these principle of hope?

206- Entwined

Some Sabbath days are just better than others... this is one of the best ones! I came home from church feeling fed and uplifted.

As I backed into the garage I noticed, once again, my beautiful Japanese Maple that grows just outside my front window. Two of the branches have twisted and entwined themselves; this day I noticed that they have bonded.



I was struck with the idea of how this is like us and our relationship to our Savior. The more we are obedient, follow his example, immerse ourselves in the scripture, pray with real intent, love and forgive freely we find that we are becoming entwined with the Lord, Jesus Christ.

It is my hope that someday I will be able to stand back and observe that we have bonded tightly together... never varying from His path.

149- Ladybug Toesies & Musings in the Garden

First off I have to share my cute ladybug toesies! I love the whole polkie-dottie toesies. When I hit on this idea I though they looked just like a ladybug



Now for my musings...

This is my sixth spring here in Utah on my little quarter-acre of heaven. Every year I reflect on how grateful I am for all of the work the previous occupants put into making this yard a beautiful place.

The flowerbed that runs along the back fence where my raspberries currently reside had a slight mishap, last year the center third of the plants died (I think my bug-guy inadvertently killed them) I decided I want to have hollyhocks in that space. I love them... they are another one of the flowers that my mom grew.


"Faith is like a little seed... if planted it will grow..."

As I was weeding and amending the soil I thought, "Wow, look how nice this soil is! Isn't it nice that the *previous occupants* put so much work into this bed!" Then it occurred to me that when I weeded this bed for the first time 5 years ago the soil wasn't like this. It was hard and full of rocks. Wait... WAIT... I've made this soil as nice as it is! That surprised me. I realized that I've put a lot of work and effort into the beauty of my yard and gardens. Me!

As I pondered on that fact I mused how similar this is to our lives. We all start with rocky, hard, poor soil but by constant work, removal of the rocks and amending our soil we improve. The thought brought tears to my eyes. Just as my little quarter acre has taken the work and supervision of the gardener. If we turn our lives over to the Gardener, He will remove the rocks and soften our soil making it fertile and able to grow those seeds of faith, hope and charity.

129- Mother's Day... a Choice

Mother's Day can be a bit daunting if you choose to let it be so... but *this-day* I choose NOT to be daunted.



This day I choose to rejoice in the mother who gave me life and raised me even though today marks the 33rd anniversary of her passing.

This day I choose to rejoice in the blessing of being a mother, even though motherhood is not always easy and sometimes thankless.

This day I choose to count my blessings for EACH of my children, those to whom I have personally given birth and those who I have come to love just as much as if I had.

This day I rejoice for my living (and those who have gone on before me) children who have called, text-ed or come to visit me and express their love and gratitude to me.

This day I am grateful for a loving spouse who supports me whether I am up or down, sad or happy.

This day I choose to be happy...

Hope.

Hope Ya Know...

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook. I just wept... I love hearing from our Apostles.



Hope ya know... I had a good day this day!

111- Tony

My Tony would be 37 today- seems hard to believe. Tony's story is a very special one.

My pregnancy was normal and there was no indication that there were any problems until he was born. (April 21, 1972) Tony had Gastroschisis. In a nutshell, his abdominal wall had never closed in utero (failure of fusion on the mid-line) and his intestines were protruding through this hole in his stomach. The doctors at Portsmouth Naval Hospital had never seen a case except in textbooks. The delivering doctor and pediatrician told us that he probably wouldn't survive more than 24 hours but if by some miracle he did, he would need so many surgeries his stomach would look like a road map.

They whisked Tony away as soon as they could get him breathing to the pediatrics building where he underwent his first surgery. We called our families and asked them for their love, support and prayers. That evening my mom opened the scriptures at random to Alma and read the discourse on faith.

The next day I was allowed to go to the other building to see Tony for the first time. He was in an isolete with a mesh bag sewn to his stomach to encase the intestines. There was an antibiotic drip to fight infection and keep them moist. The theory was that the intestines would gradually go back into the abdomen over the next week or so. (Interestingly enough, a friend had a baby 12 years later and as soon as I saw a photo of him in the isolete I knew he'd also had Gastroschisis.)

We asked our former Bishop to come and give him a blessing, but when he got there he encourage my then-husband to give Tony a father's and priesthood blessing stating that they both held the Melchizedek priesthood. It was a beautiful and moving blessing. The spirit was strong and I knew that Tony would be ok. During the night I determined that IF my baby lived... I would have milk for him.

My mom arrived on his 3rd day of life and was a wonderful source of support and love. What an amazing woman. I went home the same day, leaving little Tony in the Pediatrics 3-B. Tony continued to progress nicely and on day 6 he had a second surgery to close his abdomen. The worry now was that there would be blockage in the intestines.


Tony on his first day out of the isolete April 28, 1972.

The next day, at one week old, I was able to hold Tony for the first time. It was a wonderful feeling to finally be able to hold my son. The following day he had his first oral feeding. All went well and he didn't have any blockage.

Tony was sent home on Saturday, May 7, 1972 (15 days old) weighing only 5 lb 6 oz because he could tolerate breast milk but not formula (in those days they wouldn't let me bring in the pumped breast milk). The next day was Fast and Testimony meeting. We took him to church in our old ward in Norfolk VA to be blessed. What a special day. (Tony gained 4 oz in first 48 hours he was home.)


Tony in his blessing outfit. It said Happiness is... and then Mom embroidered- Tony. May 8, 1972 .

Despite all odds and the initial prognosis Tony never needed any more surgeries to deal with his birth defects. He truly was the miracle baby of Pediatrics 3-B... we used to say he just forgot to get his zipper zipped up before he came. It didn't take long for Tony to get caught up weight wise. He continued to thrive and grow.


Tony at 2 1/2 months. Happiness is... Tony outfit.


Tony at 3 1/2, October 1975

Raising a boy-child in the 70s wasn't as easy as it is now. ADD was just beginning to be diagnosed and I recognize now that Tony was classic ADHD. He was a loving and hardworking boy. I am amazed that I expected so much from him at such a young age. And although he frequently gave his two little sisters a hard time (he definitely felt the pressure of being the oldest) he would protect them. I only remember Tony getting into one fight and it was to protect his sister!


Tony, consummate Cub Scout, July 4, 1981


My last photo of Amanda, Tony and Rebekah at Lassen National Park

Tony's short life came to an end on August 3, 1981 he drowned in the act of saving his sister.

I've been so grateful for the comfort and support from my Heavenly Father. I am grateful for the atonement and the hope of a glorious resurrection wrought by our loving Savior, even Jesus Christ.

I feel very strongly that Tony wasn't meant for this world but a loving Father rewarded our faith and prayers. I had Tony for just over 9 years instead of 9 minutes, hours or days. I am grateful for that time. I am especially grateful to know that my family is sealed in an eternal family unit and that we will be together again.

025 Old Man Cat

Are you ever struck with a thought that you know didn't come from you? This happens to me frequently and I recognize it as the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I am so grateful to know that the Lord really does know me and care about me. He cares about the little things I care about. That is such a comfort to me.

This weekend was our Stake Conference. I always look forward to these twice-yearly meetings. I always come away refreshed and refueled. It was while I was sitting in conference this morning that the thought came to me that I needed to feature our long-time friend and furry companion, Simba. Simba's been here before so if you want to read more about him click on the "Simba" tag.

Sadly, our Sims has become an old-man-cat! He is only a shadow of his former 15 pound healthy self... but at 14 years old this month, I guess we need to be grateful that he is still with us.

Simba was diagnosed with failing liver and thyroid problems about 2 years ago and the weight has just melted off of him in spite of constant medical attention. He is half the weight he was in his prime. The up side is that he seems happy and he is still active. He can still jump up on the counter to eat (albeit via the toilet now instead of straight from the floor), still stalks any erratic flying thing, and can still give Harley what for.


FONTS- Problem Secretary, CK Cursive, BRUSH- KPertiet_LedgerGrids-9, Overlay-http://www.flickr.com/photos/beapierce/sets/72157601574009156/

I couldn't just post this old-man-cat photo of our Sims... I needed to show all what a beauty he once was! This is Simba 4 years ago, just after we moved to Utah. What a happy, smiling kitty-boy!


FONTS- Problem Secretary, CK Cursive, BRUSH- KPertiet_LedgerGrids-9

A Change of Heart...Project 365

So I know I said I wasn't going to do project 365, but now I'm looking at all of the cool photos and blogs that are doing it...

Noel Joy has got the coolest frame and format. Yeah, I can like that!

Liv had a good thought. Take a photo everyday, but you don't necessarily have to post every day! Hmm, *thinks I*, I can do that!!

Then Amanda Taylor says why put it off for a whole year just because you are a few days behind. Why indeed?? So I will play catch up, make-up and insert and get up to speed now on day 12!

I grabbed on to the December POTD project and it was very good therapy for me.

As an aside, for those of you who know me *(and now for those who don't) you know that I lost 2 children 27+ years ago... some years are better than others and frankly year 27 was much harder than some of the recent ones. There were several triggers, if you will, that threw me back in the grieving process or as my sister Sue pointed out... I have PTSD. I am grateful to know that it is ok to have these setbacks and to realize that I will NEVER GET OVER LOSING MY TWO CHILDREN! Does this mean that I don't have a strong testimony of the power of the atonement rought by Jesus Christ and the reality of the resurrection? No, it means that a loving Heavenly Father let me know in those first moments after they'd died that "Joanie, you will be an old grandma sitting in your rocking chair and you will still cry for these babies."

So the point is that with the absence of the POTD the days have been harder. So for more than anything else, I've found something that distracts me, even for a moment and I don't want to lose that positive energy. This project is for me... if y'all want to come along for the ride you're welcome.

So here we go with some catch-up...
let's run this backwards, because that is how the other ones will fall (you know, started at 1 now I'm on 12... oh, well, I'll bet you can figure it out!)

012- Happy 1st anniversary Harley!
We adopted him one year ago today! This is a photo of him on his first day at his new home!



011- DYI
My custom do-it-yourself ice sculpture. This is a little bush outside our garage AND this photo was *for really* taken on the 11th.



010- Reindeer super-highway
All of the deer tracks in my front yard. I wish I could figure out what they are munching on but I'm happy to be of service to my 4-legged neighbors.



009- My wonderful view ...
from my workroom window. I just love it! I ran a Lomo action by PSE Frank on this photo.



008- 12 day of Christmas
I am one of those girls who loves to leave up Christmas for a long time. I got this shot the same night I got out my baby tripod to shot the moon shadows.



007- My favorite #7 guy...
Stuart was frequently #7 when he played soccer. I delved into the mission photos for this one. It is Elder Lewis and Elder Rollo in early 2006. *Is there something in my nose?* (Where does he get that from??)



006- Brandon
Rewind one year ago to 1-6-08 and we were in Katy TX with Erik and family. We went for Brandon's ordination as a deacon. Sure miss those guys.



005- Moonshadows
This photo is *untouched* with the exception of cropping it to fit my format. On 1-11-09 we had a beautiful full moon and I enjoyed the moon shadows.



004- Up Close
Our friendly deer making themselves at home last winter in the ivy patch. This is taken through my front room window.



003- Birthday Boy
Now you may wonder about this one... why a photo of Spencer on his 21st b-day (which was 4 years ago) and on the 3rd, when his b-day is the 22nd... well, I'll tell you! Spencer was due on January 3rd, but didn't come for 3 more weeks! And this is the last time I was with him on his birthday. It was our first year in Utah.



002- Baby Sweet
Our little Riley on 1-2-09 in Palmdale at Auntie P's house. I enjoyed my visit with him. Keep your eye out for this photo in a cool layout coming soon.



001- Here's a *Happy New Year's Suprise*...
a photo of beautiful spring iris from my yard and "played" with several months ago. Auntie P always had January blooming iris at her folks house. So it reminded me of those Palmdale days. (remember having to improvise here! LOL)



So here I am several hours later and feeling much better, thank you very much.

Edit... I forgot to post the credits for these pages- (FONTS- Problem Secretary, CK Cursive, BRUSH- KPertiet_LedgerGrids-9, Overlay- kimi overlay edge 1)

Hope

In our prayer meeting on Wednesday at the Temple President Merrill J Bateman spoke to us about hope. I was so moved by his remarks that I asked for the references that he quoted from. I don't know that I will be able to communicate the same feeling of hope and comfort that I felt, but I hope so.

President Bateman encouraged us to have hope and not to preach pessimism but to look forward with faith.
He quoted from President Harold B. Lee (1899-1973) classic address given in 1973 at Ricks College (now BYU-Idaho),

Men may fail in this country, earthquakes may come, seas may heave beyond their bounds, there may be great drought, disaster, and hardship, but this nation, founded on principles laid down by men whom God raised up, will never fail. This is the cradle of humanity, where life on this earth began in the Garden of Eden. This is the place of the new Jerusalem. This is the place that the Lord said is favored above all other nations in all the world. This is the place where the Savior will come to His temple. This is the favored land in all the world.

Yes, I repeat, men may fail, but this nation won’t fail. I have faith in America; you and I must have faith in America, if we understand the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We are living in a day when we must pay heed to these challenges.

I plead with you not to preach pessimism. Preach that this is the greatest country in all the world. This is the favored land. This is the land of our forefathers. It is the nation that will stand despite whatever trials or crises it may yet have to pass through.

The Lord will not leave His church without direction. Revelation for our guidance comes to the leadership of the kingdom of God on earth. (Ye Are the Light of the World, 350-51)