"So Here I Am, Just Mindin' My Own Business..."

"...out for an evening stroll when some *yappy-crappy* little dog outs me! *Yap-yap-yap*  Mind your own business Whitey! Hey! I'm allowed to walk on the public street if I want to!"



"Then this absolute FREAK OF NATURE in plaid shorts comes stomping up to me! Hey! Watch where you're stepping! My legs are fragile (fra-GEE-lay... must be Italian!) but does *FoN* pay any attention? No! And then this huge foot comes way close to me... watch out!  Don't touch me... I have tarantula skills!"



"HA! It works every time! Act fierce and they go away and leave me alone. Now, if I can just get up this curb and into the grass I will be set for the evening of catching my fill of crickets! DE-lish!"

"OH MY STINKIN'HECK!! (hey, I AM a Utah Tarantula!) There's the grass! I can feel it with my front furry feet! Wait! WAIT!! WAIT!!! Something green and long is prodding me ahead! I don't like this! Where did that nice cool grass go? I'm trapped in this tall white thing! Wait... wait... I can just climb up the side! But every time I try there is a 7.0 earthquake and I fall back to the slimey-peach-scented-floor of my prison cell! Wahhhh! I was just mindin' my own business!! Sniff! Sob!"

"Then, and you're not going to believe this, the whole sky goes dark blue! I can distinguish the faint letters... B Y U! What does this mean?"

"Mild aftershocks keep coming in a rhythmic pattern, but I'm holding it together! When all of a sudden the sky lightens and I hear the most awful screeching and wailing from some little mutant FoN beings who go by the names of Zoe and Lucy! Zoe is very respectful and wants to know all about me but that Lucy! Stop with the screeching... you are breaking my poor arachnid eardrums."

"I never thought I would be thankful to see the sky go dark again... but I am! Blessed silence and just a rhythmic rocking motion. (Eeww! I think I'm going to be sick!)"

"Then, if you will believe this, the sky lightens again and my prison cell seems to be slowly tumbling! What is that? Hey I know that! Dried grass, dirt, weeds, bushes... I'm going to make a break for it! FoN starts to leave... but WAIT! No! don't come back at me with that pink-clicking thing!"



"Oh, blessed freedom! I guess I will think twice before I go out for an evening stroll down the middle of the street! It's grass and weeds for all the way!"

**By special request from Tawna!