Christmas Reflections

The Christmas season can be a difficult time for those of us who have lost loved ones. I've given it a lot of thought on this 34th Christmas without Tony and Amanda.

Why is it so hard?

When I look at it from a faith based point-of-view (and I AM full of faith) I say, "This is the celebration of the birth of our Saviour! The one who makes it possible for me to have faith in that glorious resurrection when I will be reunited with my children."

So why is it so hard?

I've reflected on Elder Joseph B Wirthlin's talk Come What May, and Love It. But I've decided that I need to change that just slightly to-

Come What May, and Love HIM

With that slight change in wording I'm able to trust in the Lord. Trust that He will never leave me comfortless; He will never leave me to *go it alone*!

But why is it so hard?

I've decided that the Christmas celebration embodies everything that is good and family. It is frequently one of the few times that extended families gather and reconnect with their loved ones: older siblings come home from college or far-away locations. It is a concentrated dose of familial love which makes us feel more keenly those who are not with us here.

So is it still hard?

Yes, and no. Some fifteen years ago a friend, who'd also lost a son, was visiting at Christmas time and I commented that this was the first year that Christmas wasn't so hard. She lamented that I shouldn't tell her that because, in fact, 20 years was a lot of sad Christmases.

How can I make it NOT be hard?

Well, the only way I know of is FAITH! Faith in my Lord, Jesus Christ. Faith in His promises. Faith in His timing. And faith that He will help me CHOOSE to be happy.

And that, for me, is the key. I have to choose to be happy. I avoid those things that will throw me into a funk. When those sad, longing feelings come, and they always do, I try to replace them with thoughts of joy. Joy that my children have been freed from the trials of this world. Joy that I will be with them again someday. Joy that I was am given the privileged of  being their mother. Joy that they are ever near to me... just through the thin veil that separates us temporarily.

Yes. I choose joy.



On a lovely side note-

Today we had a special Stake Conference at which Bishop Gérald Caussé was our visiting authority. As tender mercies will happen, our Stake President, W Vince Wilding, was a missionary in young Brother Caussé's ward in France 35 ago where Brother Caussé served as the branch pianist.

Bishop Caussé and his wife spoke. She apologized for her broken English and strong French accent but spoke movingly of our Savior and the words of the song What Child Is This. When Bishop Caussé got up to speak he said he had a surprise for his wife. He went to the piano and played the most beautiful arrangement of What Child Is This. I was so touched not only by his ability to *speak* that pure language of music but the sweet gesture it was to his wife, who struggles to speak in English.

Linzer Cookies

I was invited to a Christmas cookie exchange by a new friend in my neighborhood. She's recently moved here from Virginia and this is one of her traditions from back home. I was excited for this way to welcome her.

A cookie exchange is usually about nice cookies... not just your run-of-the-mill chocolate chip cookies. (Although they are very yummy!) I knew that I wanted to use a cookie that I'd found 6 years ago online. I love any sort of shortbread cookie and then if you add raspberry it just kicks it up a notch. Behold the Linzer Cookie.

But here's the problem... I got a bad cold a week ago and have been feeling like Pooh-Bear- my head is stuffed with fluff! And although I am feeling better than I was, my brain is still not too sharp. I had the hardest time adding 38+15 last night trying to get to the that magic number of 60 cookies (wait... this gets better!)

Yesterday is when most of the work took place. I needed things from the store so I took a trip to Ream's and should have just bought blanched almonds but I'd just toasted 3 cups of UN-blanched almonds. The process of blanching is fairly easy, but time consuming and made harder by the fact that I'd already toasted them. Gordon came to help: many hands make light work! But did I get a photo? NO!

Those 3 cups of blanched almonds get ground up and added to the dough. I rolled and cut AND rolled and cut... for a long time- until I had the necessary 60 cookies. I made extra just in case some didn't turn out ok.

This morning I assembled the cookies. I wanted to use some of my homemade raspberry vanilla jam. Which, of course, involves more work to strain out all of the seeds. But definitely worth the effort.

Just add about 1 tsp of jam to the bottom of the whole cookie and then top it with one of the cut cookie.

Since I was making 60 cookies I needed a fast way to fill that center well... ah... my turkey baster!

NOW we get to the best part of this whole story-

I just looked at the invitation again, don't know why, and guess what?

I'm supposed to bring 6 dozen cookies...  NOT 60!

I was able to scrap together 68 cookies... 

OMSH... it's not easy being me!!)